Last week, one of my professors from rabbinical school, Rabbi Leonard Kravitz, died at the age of 96. He taught my Medieval Jewish Philosophy class when he was already in his 80s and sitting in his class was a unique experience. Technically there was a syllabus, but in practice we essentially just took in his words of wisdom and philosophical insights that he had gathered over the years that were sometimes related to Medieval Jewish Philosophy.
I have so many of his one-liners cemented permanently in my brain that have had a deep impact on my rabbinate. I’ll share just one that I’ve thought a lot about recently. It's really basic. Not super philosophical. But in its own way, I think he saw it as foundational to our success as rabbis, which is why he repeated it so frequently. Here it is:
Teach B’nai Mitzvah students.
That’s it. Very straightforward. But I think he said it knowing that most of us would not end up doing it. Most congregational rabbinic positions, including the one I held, include plenty of meaningful touch points with B’nai Mitzvah students but rarely do they include being the tutor or the 7th grade classroom teacher. Instead, most congregational rabbis teach confirmation, which many can argue is a more impactful role, but that means there’s no time left for hours upon hours with the seventh graders. Nobody can do it all.
This year, through YourJewish, I have more freedom to choose where I give my time and so I’ve launched an initiative to work with students who otherwise wouldn’t have a path to celebrate becoming B’nai Mitzvah. I work with students from start to finish and the experience has illuminated for me why I think Rabbi Kravitz encouraged us to give so much time to these kids.
There are a lot of people who are critical of rabbis like me who are offering independent B’nai Mitzvah options, worried that our offerings will negatively impact the established institutions who are already doing this work. I’ve heard many express the belief that a child can only become b’nai mitzvah if they do so surrounded by a community of peers and to do otherwise is dangerous to the future of the Jewish people.
The thing is, though, that so many of our people have already voted with their feet. In the Twin Cities, only 38% of age-eligible kids have opted into a B’nai Mitzvah experience. Isn’t it more dangerous to the future of the Jewish people for 62% of kids to have no experience at all than it is for them to have an independent experience?
Beyond this, however, what they might be missing out on in the experience of going through the process surrounded by peers, they are gaining by the opportunity to develop a meaningful and significant relationship with a rabbi, something Rabbi Lenny Kravitz recognized as potentially life-changing and transformative for the future of the Jewish identity.
There is nothing wrong with going through the process the traditional way. But it is clearly not for everyone and I hope as a community we will start to develop greater acceptance that there is more than one way to instill a positive Jewish identity for those on the cusp of adolescence.
So to all my colleagues out there teaching B’ Mitzvah kids - keep at it, in memory of Rabbi Kravitz, and for the sake of the future of the Jewish people.
